...What Can I Say?

Today marks the anniversary of the whole reason I joined this site.  Today, had we still been dating, would be my third year anniversary with Ducky.  Today, had we still been together, we'd probably have killed each other...only because we didn't get along.  And, as Renee put it, Cancer/Gemini may seem like a nice pair, but they don't last long because Gemini is very fake (thank you, auto correct for not recognizing the word I wanted to use).  Although we had a great time together, Ducky wasn't my ideal partner.  Sure, we were friends and he knew everything about me. He knew what happened to me in high school and watched me fall into depression.  He was, for all intents and purposes, the one who pulled me from the wreckage, then shoved me back into it.

As I've said, he was my best friend. Well, when we broke up, he promised that we'd always stay friends. In fact, we dated for a week in November, back in 2007.  At the time I had a jealous ex boyfriend, and he (Ducky) told me to go back to him and do what needed to be done, he would still be waiting for me.  Well, He told me the same when we broke up this time, that we could stay friends, but we'd never be lovers again because we only ever hurt each other.

Just a note to said girlfriend: this is my side of the story, so stop telling my friends lies.

In May, he found a new girlfriend.  Well, apparently the whole "lets stay friends" thing went to hell in hyperspace. I had started dating again in March, and my boyfriend at the time and I were pretty close. His girlfriend added me on Facebook.  Jessie was sitting with me when this happened, and we thought it was okay.  Well, thirty seconds after she added me, her status changed to "stop trying to steal my boyfriend!" or something to that effect.  To this, I replied in my status "I love my boyfriend, Azrael".  It escalated from there.  She continued to say things like that in her status. Well, eventually I called her on it.  She claimed that she was saying it to someone else, and to stop assuming all her statuses were about me (the same could be said to her; mine are nearly always song statuses).

She deleted me, and it was silent for some time.  Then, two days later, she added me again. This time, solely for the purpose of commenting on a blog I had written to her boyfriend back in July.  Yes, I said I still loved him, but that's because at the time I did still have some feelings for him. It's natural, since both of us had left on bad terms.  Well, she deleted her comment before I could read it, then deleted me shortly after.

So I decided after she deleted me to clear things up with Ducky. I went to his house after church that Sunday, and asked if I could have my necklace back, because he still had it. Incidentally, he has a lot of my stuff that I wouldn't be surprised if he burned...at least I got the rabbit back.  Any who, I explained my side of the story to him, and went on my merry little way when he told me he'd have my stuff back at my house someday. Two hours later, Jessie got a call that put her into hysterics.

I didn't hear what he said, I just heard Jessie's side of the story; He said if you show up at his house again, he's going to press charges, because you upset him by going there.

Well, if he had returned my phone calls, I wouldn't have had to go there. And if his attack dog (being the appropriate term here) had left me alone from the start, I wouldn't have needed to tell him in person.

Well, by now, Aaron was really angry, so he went on IM to try and talk to Ducky.  And we all knew it wasn't him, because he misspells his words. Whomever was talking for him, however, was still dumber than a brick.  Anyway, they kept saying this all started because of some blog I posted on Myspace? Well, I hate to tell you, angelcakes, but you didn't talk to your girlfriend like you said you did, because the "blog" in question was on Facebook and it wasn't posted after I added her the date says July 07, 2010. Learn to read. And no, she may have told you it said bad about her, but it didn't. It basically wished you the best in this world, and that you found happiness in all you did. If you had read it, you would have known that.

Well, Ducky said he wanted to talk to Aaron and Jessie, and that he'd be there to talk to them tomorrow.

He walked right passed me.

After watching my best friend yelling at him, and him flailing his arms every which way, I went out to talk to his brother, then decided that this wasn't going to end this way.  I wasn't going to end this with me being the enemy.  I went outside, right in the middle of their conversation. Jessie told me to leave him alone, but I said "no, I'm ending this once and for all".

I knew he wasn't listening, because all he fed me was "okay", "uh huh", "fine".  I handled the situation surprisingly well. I was prepared to go out there and yell and scream, and throw punches, but that's not what happened. I sat down and just...vented...everything. How I felt, how it hurt, and everything.

"We need to talk."
"I was waiting to talk to you in person."
"If that was the case, you wouldn't have walked right passed me when you came in here today."
"I was going to talk to you after Jessie left."
"So you could threaten I did something to the police?"
"No, to talk to you alone."
"Listen. You told me you would press charges if I showed up at your house? It goes both ways. If she adds me again - and she added me both times, I have five witnesses - I will press charges for harassment. Me showing up at your house can't warrant an arrest because you have to tell me I'm not allowed on the premises. Otherwise, it means nothing. Also, her dad being a Correctional Officer, and her uncle being a police officer, have absolutely NO water here. None of them have any authority or jurisdiction on the matter. How do I know? You're playing with a girl who's in college for computer forensics. I know the laws better than you know electricity.  Now, the next time you have a problem with me you get your balls back from your girlfriend and face me, not Jessie. Your girlfriend started this, so I'm going to end it. Be a man and deal with me like an adult."

A few minutes after that, I left...he called me downstairs, so I went and asked him what. He said "I just can't talk to you anymore. It's not fair."

I said "I hope she's worth losing a five year friendship." And walked away in tears.

I thought it would have ended there, but it didn't. It continued. The cyber harassment kept coming.  A few days later I got an add request from someone by the name of "Johnny John"...this was the tenth time she'd requested me in a week. I called her on it. She emailed me and said "why do you keep adding and deleting me?"...first, I had only done that once. Then I started in on her about how her name was a fake name and this that and everything else. Well, she told me that the "Johnny John" was her boyfriend's name, and apparently people do that all the time...use their boyfriend's name, but her name was really BARB.

We talked for a while. I mentioned ten different things in one paragraph, but she seemed ot home in on my recent fight with this girl.  She asked me what her last name was. And I replied with "you don't know me, you don't know them". We continued on for a while, and she hit me with this...taken straight from the message: So you still love him? What okay what is his name? So you think him an his new snobby girlfriend will get a house together and get married?

To which I replied with: No, I don't still love him. I wish him the best out there, because that's what Christians do. They let go and hope for the best. I don't care what he does with his girlfriend, that's between him and her. All that matters to me is what happens between me and my boyfriend. I'm through with the childish drama, and every time it comes up in conversation, it makes it harder for my relationship to move forward because I'm always held back by something my ex did or said. Life isn't about the past. It's about the future.


Now...all this being said and taken into account, LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT HIM!